A Three-Pipe Problem

(To the Tune of “Little Brown Jug”)

(Duo version: W = Watson; H = Holmes; B = Both)

G G C

W: Well, I share rooms with Sherlock Holmes,

D G

A flat in Baker Street:

G C

H: 2-2-1-B, that famed address—

D G

It’s comfy and discreet!

G C

W: Holmes battles crimes, solves mysteries,

D G

Those in peril come to him.

G C

H: I solve the case, be it quite mundane

D G

Or a Three-Pipe Prob-e-lem!

G C

B: It’s a Three-Pipe Problem, (H:) yes, I see—

D G

H: It’s all so element-a-ry . . .

G C

W: To Sherlock Holmes, but not to me.

D G

H: That’s John H. Watson, M.D.

(Guitar Riff)

G C

W: Whether Speckled Band or Yellow Face,

D G

You know that Holmes is on the case.

G C

H: No Baskerville Hound can get me down—

D G

‘Gainst Silver Blaze, I’d win the race!

G C

H: No, not Moriarty nor Colonel Moran

D G

Can get the best of me!

G C

W: Holmes always prevails, though the villain rails

D G

At his Three-Pipe Prob-e-lem!

G C

H: So a Three-Pipe Problem, you should see,

D G

Is all so element-a-ry . . .

G C

W: To Sherlock Holmes, but not to me . . .

D G

I’m John H. Watson, M.D.

(Guitar Riff)

G C

W: Well, I tend to see, but I don’t observe,

D G

Or so Holmes says to me.

G C

H: But he’s always faithful, he’s the perfect foil

D G

W: To the best sleuth there’ll ever be!

G C

W: I’m Holmes’ chronicler, his confident,

D G

H: He’s a friend to the bitter end.

G C

W: I record his adventures, whether short and sweet,

D G

B: Or a Three-Pipe Prob-e-lem!

G C

B: Yes, a Three-Pipe Problem, (W:) by Jove—I see!

D G

H: It’s really element-a-ry . . .!

G C (and pause)

W: To Sherlock Holmes . . .(sigh) but still not to me . . .

H: (Spoken: But that’s quite all right, my dear fellow!)

D G

W: (Spoken: Yes, Holmes, it is, because . . .) I’m John H. Watson, M.D.!

(Closing Guitar Riff . . . and out)

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